Christmas Nurturing – Jacquelene Close Moore
For many, Christmas is about hope, joy, sharing, giving, and family. Some will see it as the lovely picture postcard images of family reconnecting, and yet for others it can be lonely and alone, whether by circumstance or choice. Some will be missing passed over loved ones, others can have had difficult family upbringings, and yet others can feel they don't have "a belonging" to return to and have to find their own place and peace within themselves. For some of my clients, this time of year can bring up some pretty difficult emotions and for other clients they can feel glad yet another year is almost done.
So, here are some tips of how to nurture yourself during all the festive madness, whether through fun, relaxing retreats, or distraction from painful memories, or allowing the space for the feelings to flow, whichever way you feel is best for you...
So what can you do for you?
Don’t wait until the last minute
Make a list ahead of time of the specific things you can do, rather than waiting until you are sitting there and going “what now?” This list gives you a starting point for you to then customise your own list.
Netflix and Stan
Because frankly, free to air television will show you some of the same movies from circa 1968 that weren’t even that fabulous when they were made. If they were then sure was okay the first time you saw it possibly two decades ago. After the 28th rerun - which included more than a couple of times the guy running the tapes passed out and the movie reran twice or three times before someone realised and managed to wake him up at the station- you can now pretty much recite the entire movie with sock puppets. Download your apps ahead of time in case you need to get technical advice, Christmas day is too late, and I feel for the sock puppets !
Christmas, Litha, Yule, Diwali, Bodhi Day, Eid, Hannukah and more?
Try something different. While I haven’t heard people telling me not to say Merry Christmas to them, I also don’t say happy “Litha and Yule tidings” to strangers either. There are about 15 different religions who all celebrate different events and customs in different ways at this time of the year. Some of your friends who are from various cultures might even invite you over to share in their celebration, you would be in for a new and interesting experience if you gave it a chance.
Let’s not have a very co-dependant Christmas
Forget the limited ideas some people may have about what you must do for your relatives, they probably have no idea. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting, forgiving also doesn’t mean you need to ever see the person you forgave again. You don’t have to make excuses for self-respect. Do what is healthy for you. But, if you are one of those well-meaning but ill-informed people trying to force people to make up with those who caused them intense suffering, please think again.
Check you have your bubble bath, fuzzy slippers and a face mask at the ready. There are face masks for men too you know. Have a soak in the bath, with your favourite bath salts, get out your favourite candles, incense, crystals and Stephen King novel perhaps.
It can be enriching to give back to the community. There are places you can assist with Christmas lunches and charity foundations to help provide a nourishing, lovely lunch or dinner for those less fortunate.
Secret Charity, Santa
There are various locations you can give a gift for children whose parents cannot afford to buy presents for them, often these are bought and handed in unwrapped to the charity to place under the tree and to be given to the children for Christmas. Contact your local charity for details , before Christmas.
Naffy craft projects
Probably not the day to take up elaborate macramé as that could get frustrating, but you could get a colouring book and some pencils, or use your power tools and some wood. Plan ahead as many shops are closed on Christmas day. Glitter is always fun, you can never have too much glitter, well I think so anyhow. Go to your local craft supplier and see what is there, they have some pretty crazy stuff to play with these days, and much of it is for adults with scrapbooks and things. Your craft shop can be a most interesting place.
Check into a nice resort
If it won’t break your bank and you have been working way too hard, have a look at last minute deals to anywhere in a 50 – 100 mile radius and use your navigator to get you there!
No resorts? Feel like camping? Now there is an adventure. Take bug repellent...
Read a book
Visit the library or book shop ahead of time and promise not to read it til Christmas day, it’s a present to yourself. You could even go to a second hand shop and make the ultimate score of a lifetime if you know what you are looking for and have a bit of luck on your side. Now, in the slowness of Christmas day, you get to slow down long enough after an action packed year to actually read something! Who needs plane tickets to Barbados, you can go through a cupboard and into another world, or headbutt a brick wall at a train station and end up on a platform you never knew was there going to some school on a train with weird dragons at the other end. That's just some of the placces books can transport you to... What’s not to love?
So there is this new Star Wars movie that is possibly playing at the moment I hear… And there is possibly even more than one movie playing... How about a dvd? Or a trashy mini series, there are so many other ways to watch movies. Make sure you have popcorn ahead of the day.
Preserves last a long time and you can give them as gifts to people at any point in the year, or you can just keep it in the cupboard for a very, very long time and have lovely jam. You could even practice making sorbet, or other recipes you never thought of trying. Note, if you are going to make a complex dish, also ensure you make another, simple dish. Then if one fails the other is still there and you are still feeling good...
Winter/ Summer cleaning
Forget Spring, how about end of year cleaning? How much "stuff" do you have in your place you just haven't had the time until now to clear out and declutter from? Hey presto. Now, there is an opportunity! Decluttering is a grounding thing to do, so bonus points to you! Get some boxes for the stuff you want to donate to your local charity. Two birds, one stone... Can't be bothered cleaning anything? Then don't, back to Netflix for you! You could also listen to podcasts of Soul Star Radio, haha, free plug !
Give everyone extra space in traffic,
Leave earlier, drive more calmly and plan ahead. There are plenty of other stressed individuals trying to get somewhere quicker than they left, let them overtake you and keep going. Watch with a cheeky sense of “I told you so when you later pass them pulled over on the side of the road by the police officer,” see, it’s all working out fine. Wish them well as you pass by, No, honking your car horn and waving out the window at them is probably not a good idea.
Complaining won’t make the checkout line move any quicker, but more people will be frustrated. If someone else seems to be losing their patience, try to relax and either talk about the weather, or disengage from the drama and send a thought of healing and light to them to help them calm. If someone is abusing the checkout staff, you could speak up and give that staff member some relief, preferably not of the comedic type, it may inflame things.
If you are missing someone
If you have lost a loved one, remember there is no stop watch on grief here. You have to allow for it, if you find thoughts go back to them, reflect on special and positive moments and know that they DO hear you, and they are a breathe away, mostly hugging you from spirit. Give thanks about the good things you shared, and if not all was pleasant memories, put your mind towards what you are doing for yourself now, and be gentle on yourself. Will you be better helped by distraction using other thoughts or activities, or do you want to allow for that space to simply feel? Honour your needs.
Helping out someone less fortunate
Sometimes people can feel disenchanted by the materialism in our society and may find it’s the gift that you give that gives you the feeling of being more fully present and whole. Is there someone else who could do with a cheer up, a visit, a feed and some company? Sometimes seeing the look of joy or relief on someone else’s face can light up your own heart and put you back on track. This is why I usually tell people who want to be rich to donate some of what they earn and to give to their community. You are richest when your heart shares.
Don’t commit to things that make you unhappy
If you feel really uncomfortable about going to an event, and under pressure, and that this will cause you undue distress and that you may accidentally lose your cool and say something that sets off some kind of nuclear toxic cloud of not happyness, then please, just don’t go. You can always make a polite apology and send a card. And then tell them what you think on another date. Be kind to you not just everyone else.
Bring a mate
Sometimes friends are more like family, can you plan ahead to drop around to a friend and hang out for a while in between their family time? Do you have a friend who could do with enjoying a seat at your family’s table?
Christmas at a nice restaurant
Some restaurants, aware of the different cultures and different family situations actually open up at Christmas for a Festive lunch. You will most likely have a Christmas hat and at the very least staff will help pull on the other end of the bon -bon and you can laugh at the silly toy inside. You may also meet some interesting other people you might not ordinarily.
Fish and chips at the beach
Something we do more here in Australia. It can be quite relaxing to sit on the jetty on a summer’s day and just enjoy the ocean breeze.
If you are in the northern hemisphere, the cold would make that beach idea pretty impractical especially if you are in New York or Dublin. Let’s change that out to having a hot chocolate while wearing a snuggy or wrapped up in a kotatsu and watching the snow or rain fall.
And remember, the perfect thing about imperfection is that we just accept things as they are, and find ways of finding good in that.
Lots of love
Jacquelene Close Moore
Jacquelene Close Moore is based in Melbourne Australia and travels Australia wide and internationally with her work. Jacquelene presents Soul Star Radio, a live worldwide psychic show broadcast via USA based A1R Psychic Radio, a network with a growing audience of over one million listeners globally. Jacquelene is the sixth generation of psychics in her family. And is a psychic, medium, empath, and connected to all the senses.
Co-author in the upcoming book “Journey of a Lightworker,” being released in 2017, she has completed over 15,000 readings for clients from over 80 countries around the world since 1995. First ever awarded Psychic of the year Victoria 2004, Psychic Ambassador 2013, Jacquelene has appeared and read for audiences at some of Australia’s most prestigious companies and events and is available for one to one private readings, media appearances, and corporate, group bookings Australia wide and internationally.